Hiding from my responsibility or more like taking too many screen breaks when I desperately need to finish this paper.
This is my first academic paper in some time and I’m v anxious and exhibiting trends of ocd having reread the intro so many times it all sounds redundant.
Ready to ffwd.
After this is over with, I need to be coddled and fed. I will feel good.
My happiness for others sometimes manifests into reflection of my own status. I try to be positive.
One more week and i can sleep. One more week of drowning. Time management is difficult when u want to be social
Closed the door to desolve myself into the darkness of just how shit I feel, no one spends time with me and I spend time with no one. It makes me cry. On my softest pillow I cry. Watching movies without me, doing things without me but you’re suppose to be my lover. Spend more time with me, do more things “together”
We seem to get into discussions around the same time of the year for
3 years
Idk if we’ve made progress or just
Need someone to stay
I don’t want to be alone and I know you don’t either
I need u to be part of my life or
The choice to procrastinate has won me over these few months passed. I need disciplinary self will. I need to stop! I need to read more and study
Cleansed my home in a subconscious manner/ attempt to tidy up myself from becoming a nostalgic sad blob. Can’t watch Her or any rom-com films cause I will crack.
The dog is feeling better.
Plan to read more & write in my journal and maybe ask for a hug.
A lot more days with my own company.
To that point, I’m emotionally checked out. I’m promising to drape myself w positive energy and loving myself more. Reminding myself if someone cannot give that to me I don’t need to try and change their mind.
Fall semester will be spent in the libraries of UIC. I cannot wait.
(Source: lesbian-pothead, via breakfast-menu)
Just want to disappear for a while. It’s all so paced and slow. Don’t know how to feel: grief or relief?
It hurts to go to a live concert w the intention to enjoy the presence of an artist and their music, yet your “fans” just wanna be Live recording/snapping shots like they’re paparazzi! Y’all disappoint me.
With now, my sleep routine is minimal with naps in between.
Morning space to drape my mood: alone.
I don’t feel I will have the right answers for her or if I will obtain the secrets/tips to getting by but I can only hope to lighten up her view and convey that over dinner tomorrow.
What I fear is not having the strength to tell the truth or to share my truth or me to feel defeated by her vision of life
I use to write more.
